Some friends and I went out and had a great dinner last night, it was at a well-known buffet style Brazilian barbecue restaurant. Probably because it was Saturday night, the place was packed from the 1st minute we walked in till the time we left. They have someone playing some Jazz/R&B and also someone singing probably in Portuguese right next to the waiting area. I love the whole experience, and I also met a new friend.
While we were busy stuffing our faces with the delicious and seemingly non-stop-delivery-to-the-table style BBQ, I asked the new friend what she does. "Oh I'm going to graduate after summer, and I work 3 jobs." She said. "Woo, I'm impressed, you must be very, very busy, maybe you don't have time to sleep?" I was trying to make a joke. She smiled, "I'm not working all these jobs because of the money, I'm trying to get more experience, so I'll be more prepared for the future." She said something like that. While I was trying to think of what to say to that, another friend asked me, "so Jun, what have you been busy doing"; "uh, nothing much, just regular work, plus some exercises after work on weekdays, and some hiking during the weekends. I'm not busy at all", I replied. While I said it proudly, and always put work/life balance as a priority, I had a feeling there's a slight chance that maybe I'm the one who's being lazy and not working hard enough? Or is it that America has always been a workers' nation?
Two of those friends are a married couple, and we hanged out at their house after dinner. While we were having a great time, we came to the topic of this theory about guys tend to cheat on their wives when they become rich. The husband said "you're probably just saying it because you're jealous about guys making more money, while you're spending your husband's money (his lol) on the weekend". "I don't care about your stupid money, my job is the most important thing, as long as I have my job, I'm good. Iiiiii doooon't caaaare" she replied. We knew each other for a long while, and I always tend to express what's in my head, I said to the wife "oh come on, of course your husband and your two kids are more important than your job. If you lose your job, you can always find another one, but not the other way around, so trust me." I said something like that. She kinda looked confused, and staying firmed with her theory.
This work/life balance question has been stuck in my head for quite some time now. I still remember when I was in college, in an Auditing class, the professor asked one guy something about his experience working with a major bank, he proudly said "oh I work 3 jobs, and I'm certified." Even though that has nothing to do with the question, the professor praised him with a big smile. I also remember the professor teaching managerial accounting also claimed he always work multiple jobs. Teaching was supposedly his side job. I had also been reading some articles about this possible trend at the time, while meeting more and more people who also were very proud to work their jobs/careers as their lives, all the way from my college years till now. I couldn't help but ask myself this question, is it really that Americans are workaholics, or maybe it's because of the prioritizing of their careers before everything else that makes this country great? (well, other than the cancer-like medical system, drug and gun problems)
I have been trying to figure out the answer to this question. Some of my friends love what they do. They say that as long as there's space for them to grow in the industry, new things to do and more latter to climb to the top, they'll be fine with working 6 days a week, 10 hours plus a day. Some did mention that if there's an option of reducing his work time by 20% and reducing his salary also by 20%, he would choose that anytime of the day. Some do say that they are doing it just for the money while they struggle to find themselves a career. "If they pay me less, I'm just not gonna do it", one friend says on the phone, "Sorry man I gotta go, I'm gonna do my 3rd job now" then he hang up. While so many of my friends are this busy, there's also friends of mine that work only one 40-hour-week job, does not seem to exercise or have a lot of social life, claims to be busy all the time. "I gotta do my laundry", one said. Maybe to some people, doing laundry means a major event of the day.
Everyone seems to have a different idea about work/life balance, and for me, I always try not to put my work as my priority. I'm not saying that I don't work hard, in fact I think I'm one of the most hardworking in my office (my boss might see this, okay?), but I always try to do things that interests me in my free time, and go on a vacation whenever time and money permits. Even though I have my own exercise routines/interests, and been thinking about trying for a 2nd job, I've never worked 2 jobs at the same time so far. I can honestly say that I do not LOVE my current job , but I do work hard at it. I feel lucky that I'm starting to realize where my passion is, I'll talk about that some other time.
After reading some articles on the internet, I learned that America is close to the top of the list of most workaholic countries. A lot of the articles claim that Americans are working more and more hours, while taking less and less vacations. They show statistics that only about half of the Americans will take all of their paid vacation time. That's right, half of us go to work instead of taking a day off even it's paid!
I think my own opinion is the most important this time around, nevertheless I'm the one who's living it :) Remember the name of the topic? work/life BALANCE. In my opinion, a lot of the ancient knowledge will work till the end of time, and the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang is one of them. I believe that unless you really love what you do, meaning that when you wake up everyday in the morning, you can not wait to get up and go to work (yes, there are people like that I know of), the job is not really your passion. That is a sign you shouldn't put your job as your first priority. So when you're not doing what you love to do 40 or plus hours a week, you should definitely at least try to do what you love to do after work, no matter it is exercising, or just sit at home writing silly articles like I do. While working multiple jobs do give you more experience, they do not necessarily give you the right or matching experience for your career. And working a job is not the only way to gain knowledge and experience. Travelling, socializing, taking a class, reading a book, these will all give your knowledge and experience, and sometimes they're for the better since you're not always stuck in one location or environment. I'm not saying that working hard towards your life goal (for some people that's money) is bad, but think of it this way: everyone has a limited amount of time and energy, and while our life is so short, why not spend it on something that's more important to you, someone who you can share the love with, or do something that makes this ugly world a little better, even just a little bit.
昨天晚上我和几个朋友去了一家巴西烧烤餐馆吃晚饭。 大概是因为星期六晚上吧，餐馆忙得不成样子，等候入座区从我们进去开始一直到吃完为止都是满的。这家餐馆还是算不错的，在等候入座区设了一架钢琴和一个麦克风，有人在弹一些舒服的爵士啊，蓝调音乐啊什么的，也有人唱一些大概是葡萄牙语的歌曲吧，我听得很入迷。除了蛮喜欢这家餐馆以外，昨晚还认识了一个新的朋友，真是很开心。
当大家正在低头努力的把不停地搬到我们桌子上的烧烤肉塞进口中的时候，我随口问了一下这个刚刚认识的朋友她的工作是什么。 "过了暑假我就毕业了，现在嘛做三份工作“，她说。”哇，好厉害，那你不是连睡觉的时间都没有？“ 我尝试说个笑话。她笑笑说”做那么多工作并不是为了钱啦，而是为了可以学多点东西，有多点的工作经验，是为了将来啊。“ 她大概说了差不多的话吧。我还在思考应该怎么把话题接下去的时候，另一个朋友问我 “阿俊，这段时间都在忙什么呢”， ”没什么特别拉，就是上班啊，下班了就去做做运动啊，周末去爬爬山什么的，我很有空不忙啊。" 我很自豪的回答着朋友的问题，但很奇怪地，在我心底有一个奇怪的声音响起“会不会是因为我很懒，不够勤奋工作才会那么有空吧？到底还是美国其实是一个具有工作狂文化背景的国家呢？
其中两个朋友是一对夫妻，我们吃完饭就去他们家里坐坐聊聊天。 我们吹水吹得正欢， 妻子那个突然讲到一个理论，就是“男人有钱就变坏”，意思就是会出轨，包二奶之类的事情。 丈夫说“你这么说其实就是妒忌男人比女人赚得多吧，你平时不花钱，周末话老公（就是他自己哈哈）的钱，自己钱哪会花得多啊。” “我才不管你的那些钱，我的工作是最重要的，只要我还是有我自己的工作，我才不管你去泡什么妞呢, 我才不理你” 妻子回答。 我认识他们两夫妻已经很久了，加上我一般都直接把想法告诉我的朋友的，所以我也开门见山地跟妻子那个说“别玩啦，工作当然比不上你的这个会做饭的老公，还有你的两个小朋友啊。工作如果丢了还可以再找另一份，人可不能这么说了。其他我没经验，这个你真要相信我” 我大概说了类似的话吧。 她给了我一张不知所措的脸，继续坚持她的理论。
其实这个工作和生活的平衡问题已经在我脑子里面很久了。我还记得在大学的一堂审计课上，教授问妻子其中一个学生关于他在一间主流银行工作的经验，男生很自豪的说“我做三份工作哦，而且我还是注册了的（会计师）。这个回答跟问题怎么看也拉不上什么关系，但教授仍然笑着赞赏了他。 我也记得当时教管理会计学的教授跟我们说，他从来都不会只有一份工作的，其实教书是他的一个副业，云云。那时候我已经有读到一些描述工作狂的文章，而我认识的人当中，也不乏有一些把工作看得感觉比自己生命还要重要的人，从读书那时候一直都现在也是。问题来了：美国人到底真的是工作狂充斥的国家呢，还是因为美国人把工作看得非常重要，才把这个国家建设得现在这般伟大（除了像癌症一样治不好的医疗系统，毒品还有枪支问题，美国也算伟大吧）？
我一直在寻找这个问题的答案。我有些朋友是真的喜欢他们的工作的。 有一个说，只要在业内有发展的空间，在职位上有新东西学，还有向上爬的可能，那么他是不会介意每天做10小时以上，每周上6天班的。有一个就说，如果可以把他的工作时间降低百分之20，而把他的工资也降低20%，那就最好了。有些还在寻找一份好工作，他们说“钱给少了就立刻不做",朋友在电话里说“不好意思啦，我现在要做第三份工作啦”然后挂了。 尽管有些朋友忙成狗了，我也有一些朋友只是做一份普通的每周40个小时的工作，既看不到他去锻炼，也看不到他有什么社交活动，但却长期说忙的。“我要洗衣服拉，没空拉。” 他说。可能对于他来说，洗衣服就是那天的重要节目吧。
每个人对工作生活平衡都有不同的看法，而我自己是从来都没有把工作放在首位的。我的意思不是说我不努力工作，事实上我觉得在办公室我算是最勤奋的一个了（老板可能会看到我的文章拉哈哈哈）但是我从来都是在休闲时候去做我自己喜欢做的事情， 在时间和预算允许的情况下，还会出去旅行一下。 虽然我自己平时是有锻炼习惯啊，兴趣什么的，其实我还是有想过再多找一份工作尝试一下，但我暂时还没有同时做两份工作的经历。老实说，我并不热爱我现在的工作，但是我工作还是很努力。我觉得自己非常幸福，因为各种原因，我现在慢慢开始找到了我的热情所在了，找个时间再聊那个话题吧。
想不通当然就问“狗狗”(谷歌)网站啦，在读了一些文章之后，我发现其实美国在众多发达国家之中其实算是很有工作狂文化的国家了。很多文章写到，现在美国人的工作趋势是，工作时间越来越长，而休假却越来越没有人利用。文章引用了些数据，说经统计，大概有一半的美国人会用完他们的有薪假期。对了！就是说另外那一半放弃了自己的有薪假期而回到办公室继续上班。
其实呢，关于这个话题，我觉得我自己的想法才是最重要的，到底我的生活是要靠我自己才能活出来啊哈哈。大家还知道我们一直在讲什么话题吗？工作生活 平衡 啦。 我一直相信有些古老的哲学是万世皆通的，其中就包括了阴阳协调的哲学理论。我相信，除非你真的非常热爱自己的工作，意思是，每天早上你一起来，你就已经急不及待地想去上班开始你的工作了(我遇到过这样的人)，如果不是这种情况，就基本说明你的真正热情并不在这份工作上，也说明了你不应该把这份工作放在第一位。在你的工作之余，你应该尽量尝试去做一些自己喜欢做的事情，无论是体育锻炼，还是像我现在一样胡说八道一下。同时做多份工作可能真的会帮助你增长见识，但并不是所有的工作经验都会适合你的将来发展，或者说对你的职业生涯有帮助。而且增长见识并不只有工作才可以学到啊。旅行，交际，上堂课，读本书，也都可以丰富你的知识和智慧。这些很有可能会比工作经验更好，因为他们非常多样化，而不像有些工作一样只涉及某一样专业知识。我并不是告诉大家，努力向前（钱）看是错，我觉得应该这样想吧：每个人的时间和精力都是有限的，人生苦短，为何不把有限的生命用在真的对你重要的事情上，用在可以跟你分享爱的人身上，或者做些事情把这个丑陋的世界变得好一点点呢？那怕只是一点点。
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